Letting Go | Friendships & Relationships

When I look back at the people I have involved myself with, whether it was platonic or romantic, I have known them all to be different and special to me. Don’t get me wrong, I have ex-boyfriends and girlfriends I don’t care to know about. However, when I look back at them as individuals I can honestly say I truly loved them all.

After reflecting on my past relationships I realized how much damage it had caused me. I compromised so much of myself to accommodate their happiness and needs. In the end, all it did was leave me in pain. In relationships and friendships, I would cry of the fear of losing the other person, when all along I was losing myself.

What made these relationships more toxic was the process of not wanting to let them go. Once these relationships and friendships were over, I would still try to find ways to keep them around. I would go through pictures, listen to music, and still go through their social media just to be updated on their life. By doing this, it only caused me more hurt.

So in order to release myself from the pain, I had to let it all go. I had to let go of the idea that he will change, that she would understand, that he will stop, that she would just listen, that he will come back, that she will miss me, and that it would all work out. Expectations will kill you on the inside. So let it go.  

Express your pain, however, you can, to get it all out of your system. Focus on your present life and the future. Also remember that there is no point in asking yourself why. You can go on for days trying to find the root of why, so instead ask yourself what am I going to do about it now?  It’s a hard reality to accept that the people who you held so close to you are no longer present in your life.

I want you to remember this does not define your worth. Care more for yourself than you do for the other person. From here on, remind yourself that you never “lost” someone; you gained a lesson and an opportunity for growth.