How I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others
Before I contradict myself, I want to say that I am still a work in progress and have gotten much better at this.
It is natural for us to compare ourselves with other people, especially if you aren’t where you want to be in life. It’s even more irritating when you see the younger girl you went to high school with graduating with her second degree and seems like she has it all figured out. Yeah, pass the shots of whiskey while I sulk in self disappointment.
Social media platforms such as: Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat focuses the highlights of people’s lives; constantly fogging the reality of what is true. I take responsibility in this. I am very honest with my friends and family and I don’t lie about the things I struggle with, but my pictures do. Naturally, we all do it. We all post on social media the highlights of our lives and “humorize” our daily struggles through memes and GIF’s. However, we rarely get real on what’s really going on. Mainly because 1. it’s no-one’s business, and 2. no one really cares.
My point is this: we only expose the good in our lives and we often confuse this habit with assuming that others are doing better than we are. Hence why we compare ourselves with each other.
Before I go any further, let me set the record straight. I do live a good life. I have a good job that pays my bills and gives me the flexibility to travel and take time off. I have healthy parents, good friends who care about me, and a roof over my head. However, am I happily settled and satisfied on where I am professionally in my life? No.
Being a writer and an aspiring influencer it is so easy for me to compare myself to other writers and bloggers. It’s intimidating after a while when looking at their Instagram accounts with their massive number of followers and simple writing. Or the influencers who don’t write yet, get sponsored for just looking what society thinks is perfect. It feels like the journey of becoming successful in this field is truly a long shot.
So how did I break free from comparing myself to the point of no return?
Be Real with Myself
I took a look at my best pictures and asked myself, okay Nicole think back when you took this picture. Were you happy or were you stressed about something? Ironically, one of the “boujie” pictures I have, in reality in that moment in time, I must’ve only had $16 in my bank account. I’m honest with myself and remind myself that as great as my pictures look I know I don’t have it all figured out. So, when I look at other people’s pictures and accounts I have to remind myself that no matter how picture perfect it looks, does not mean they have it all.
Use it as Inspiration
Especially as a writer and an inspiring influencer, I had to remove the thought of looking at other bloggers and influencers as “competition.” I had to look at them as inspiration. How do they do it, and how can I do it in my own unique way? How can I improve in my writing? How can I improve in my picture taking skills? Instead of stalking in the shadows, how can I reach out and learn from what they do? I had to stop victimizing myself on what I lacked and instead, had to find a way to gain.
I’ve gotten much better at this whereas instead of looking at social media as a place to feel bad about myself I look at it from a very different perspective and I think it’s important to look at it this way also.
If you have any tips or advice on how you stopped comparing yourself to others or still struggle with this feeling I would love to hear your personal feedback! Leave any comments below and subscribe to my website!!
